This morning I was woken up by my dad with one of my favorite coffees in hand. He told me there was a bagel waiting for me downstairs and I could come join them whenever I was ready. I opened my eyes and soaked it all in. I was laying in my warm, soft bed, sunlight streamed in the window, and the aroma of coffee was filling my room. I was home.
Yesterday when I woke up, I was in a foreign country sleeping in the same room as 20+ girls. I was exhausted, filthy, and not at all comfortable. It was the end of a week-long mission trip that had challenged me and broke me. My heart was bursting with gratitude for what I had and for the power of our God. This trip to the Dominican Republic has taught me many things and showed the goodness of my God.
To be honest, I am still processing all that happened on my trip and still trying to figure out all the ways God’s work was carried out. Many challenges and heart aches occurred for me on this trip and through those my greatest lessons were learned. The word I can best use to describe this trip right now is faith. Throughout the week I kept waiting and searching for my prayer to be answered that I would find my purpose and place in this trip. Yet, on the plane ride home I still found myself confused and unsure if I even had an impact on the hearts of the Dominicans and those on my team. I was frustrated to not be able to find answer but then I heard a voice. A voice that told me I need to have faith. I need to have faith in the unknown and the unseen. I need to have faith that God was and is working in ways I cannot understand right now.
I felt a loneliness on this trip I have never felt before on my previous three mission trips. The pain of broken relationships and feeling isolated within myself had taken my attention. My mind was so engulfed on focusing on the wrong things that I did not take a moment to sit in awe of my God. I felt pain from not being able to hear my God I so badly desired to hear from. I felt utterly alone. However, although I had this pain I was dealing with in my own heart, the pain of the country I was in overwhelmed it all. The way these people lived left me speechless and all I wanted to do this week was help. So everyday I got up and I put my entire being into serving the people of the Dominican Republic.
My verse I picked for this week on the first night was Isaiah 41:15-16: “Behold, I have made you a new, sharp threshing sledge with double edges; you will thresh the mountains and pulverize them, and will make the hills like chaff. You will winnow them, and the wind will carry them away, and the storm will scatter them; but you will rejoice in the Lord, you will glory in the Holy One of Israel.” Now there are a lot of things I did not understand the meanings of in this passage, but something about it clicked in my head. Granted, I was without internet access to be able to better understand this passage so forgive me if my interpretation of the verse was inaccurate. From this passage, I heard we are equip by God to do all these works and have been provided with a purpose. We live it out and are making progress, but storms will come and cause distractions. Winds will blow and our hard work may seem to wash away. But do not fear because God has your back and is working in ways we do not see. From this came my goal for the week: Live out my purpose and when distractions and pain hit, don’t give up and keep working hard all while rejoicing in God and seeing His glory in all things.
The distractions and pain definitely came, but my ability to see God working in the lives of others did. Though I struggled to see how He was specifically using me, I easily saw how His goodness prevailed in others. God is working in even the smallest ways. By attending one church service, a desire in my heart for the American church to change arose. By singing a song while fixing a Dominican pastor’s house, I realized the importance of inviting the Holy Spirit into my every day life. By playing with little kids, I understood what matters most. There are so many ways God worked in this trip but this post is already growing long so I will focus on just these three ways this trip transformed my mind and my heart.
First, the church. Their meet and greet rocked my world. People were walking up and down the aisles, across the church, and to everyone. The men gave warm handshakes and the women gave genuine hugs and kisses on the cheek. Little girls danced up the aisles hugging everyone they came into contact with. A smile did not leave my face the entire ten minutes of meet and greet. Everyone knew their worth and felt loved. What if we made our thirty seconds at home like this? I believe those who felt alone before walking in our church doors would feel a part of something great. God’s Truths would be revealed when people followed the calling to go speak to someone. Signs would be seen and loneliness would dwindle. We would be in it together. No longer did I desire to go and change their lives, but I wanted to bring their culture home to transform ours.
One of the days was spent building a church for a pastor while also fixing up his house which was right next door to where the church would stand. For a portion of the time, I was inside the house painting the walls. While doing so, our team began to sing songs of worship. It is moving. However, tears welled up in my eyes as these words came out of my mouth: Holy Spirit, You are welcome here. Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere. Your glory, God, is what our hearts long for. To be overcome by your presence, Lord. We were inviting the Holy Spirit to come and work in this home. I was praying for lives to be transformed and for hearts to be in search for our Lord. I felt the Holy Spirit’s presence as we invited Him to reside in this place and it touched my soul. I desired this for my life at home. I was hit with the question, am I inviting the Holy Spirit to take part in and transform my life? This was a huge lesson for me. I realized I needed to be letting the Lord come into every part of my life, big and small, and allow His Will to be carried out.
The last one I am going to talk about was one learned out of frustration. I was disappointed in myself and felt like I had no impact thus far on the trip. Everyone had stories to share during group time of how God worked through them and I just couldn’t come up with anything. I was so frustrated. However, after group time, I was sharing with someone how I felt. He told me that even though I felt like I did nothing through the manual labor we did, I took time to do the most important job. I took time to play with the little kids that were surrounding the work area. He helped me realize that me taking a break and loving on the Dominican kids was not weak but important. Souls are what matter and the impact we have on souls are what will last for eternity. He spoke words into me I needed right then. This made me realize the importance of seeing how God works through the small acts and you do not need to do the big things to make an impact for Christ.
So in conclusion of this long post, have faith. Have faith that God is working in you through the confusion and chaos. Have faith that His love for you prevails in the loneliness. Hold tight onto the Truths of our Lord and know His grace is everlasting. I am still seeking the answer for what my purpose on this trip was and that is okay. It is okay because the mission does not stop after this week. It did not stop when I got home to my cozy bed but rather it has just begun. The battle for more souls is never-ending and our purpose is constantly unfolding. I am excited to see how God uses this trip in my future and ready for whatever is thrown at me next. For though the storms will come, God’s goodness will never fail. So in this time of the unknowns, I will have faith that I was worked in and through and I am not alone.
With Love,
Olivia Mars
LiveGrace 