LiveGrace

In a few days, I turn twenty years old and these are my last few moments technically spent as a teenager. These years have been full of ups and downs like every stage of life will be, but I think in this stage, you learn so much and it is the beginning of finding yourself. So, here are nineteen lessons I have learned in my first nineteen years of this crazy life.

1. Sometimes, it takes letting go to grow.— I absolutely hate letting go of anything. I despise the idea they may perceive it as I have given up on them, and so I hold on much longer than I should. I value relationship, and I value other’s knowing I value them. Yet there are times letting go is for the best. It is not just letting go of people but of ideas. I previously wrote a post on the dangers of “should”. I struggle to let go of the ideas of how I think things should be. However, in letting go, freedom and growth can be found. This is not to say I will not fight beyond when efforts have been exhausted. I don’t give up. But I have learned sometimes you have to let go to grow.
2. Words matter, choose carefully.— This one is of udder importance. The words we say stick to those who receive them forever. I have experienced the pain and the joy of words spoken to me, and I have also given both. I have learned the way you string together your carefully chosen words can make all the difference.
3. Don’t let other’s labels define you.— I lived baring the labels placed upon me for so long. I still do at times. But so much freedom comes when you release yourself from the ways others try to define you. Be wise about who you allow to speak into you, always keeping in mind WHOSE you are and who He says you are. No one else can define who you are or who you ought to be.
4. The unexpected turns can be the best ones.— Often, I look back on my life and think, “Wow, if I would have known I would be here today, I wouldn’t believe it.” Focus not on the “should’s” of how life should be because you never know where it could be taking you. There will inevitably be lows, but you are growing and changing and it is a beautiful thing. I am thankful for every unexpected turn.
5. Live fully loved.— I wish I lived this out as much as I said it during my teenage years. This means to me living loved as you are by your heavenly Father so you don’t find yourself searching for scraps of love in places you shouldn’t. Life is full of much less pain when this is lived out. This is one of the key lessons I have learned and it will be a lifetime of focusing on living this out.
6. There is always a purpose.— There have been so many points I have questioned why things have happened but looking back I don’t think I would change any of the moments of pain. Out of these moments, I have gained so much. In each time, I can see how my life was taking one of those unexpected turns and how there is always a purpose. Even, if I still struggle to see the good in some of these moments, I have complete trust in there is a purpose in all the pain.
7. Live each day to the fullest of its potential.–Life is so short and the days go fast. Each season is gone as soon as you finally get comfortable. When a friend calls, go to her. Take ahold of each opportunity that presents itself. Spend money on memories, not things. Don’t leave any room for “I wish I would have done…” Do the most you can each day.
8. Regrets aren’t worth the time.— But when you don’t take full advantage of the day, you cannot dwell on the past. Regrets rob the present of new opportunities without solving any past mistakes. They aren’t worth the precious time they take up.
9. It is okay to love yourself.— This is a new lesson for me. I have always thought it is wrong to choose yourself. But I am learning sometimes it is okay to choose you. You can’t love others well if you never love yourself.
10. Invest.— Always take the time to learn other’s stories and hear their heart. It is always worth it to invest in others. You never know what one small conversation could turn into. Invest in new people and never stop investing in the people who have stayed.
11. Listen to your gut.— A lot of hurt could have been avoided if I had listened to my instincts. There will always be mistakes, but I have learned to not let my first reaction to be doubting myself.
12. Pursue big dreams and crazy goals.— Because who knows, you just might make it;). Take chances and follow your heart. If it doesn’t work, you went for it, there is nothing left to wonder, and who knows what could come out of your “failure” and the unexpected turn towards happiness it could take. And if it does work, all the risk will be worth it.
13. Don’t live the past. You don’t belong there. You can’t change what happened. You have changed and grown as a result of the past but if you keep going back to that place, what good did the past bring you for your future? You cannot yearn for the past, good or bad, without wasting away your present.
14. Let people in your heart even if others have left.— When people leave, I could swear it kills me a little each time. But I have learned I cannot let that cause me to harden my heart and close myself off to opening my heart to others. Closing yourself off does not protect you. You only hurt yourself more by not allowing others in.
15. Grace always.— Forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness. Bitterness has no place in your life. People do not always have to hold the same position in your life as they once did, but they should always receive your grace. By giving grace, you will find freedom.
16. Treat every person as worthy.— I don’t want to be defined by other’s perceptions, my mistakes, or anything else other than whose I am. I am the daughter of a King and that alone gives me worth. Who am I to treat anyone else as anything other than a son or daughter of the King? Every person is worthy of love, not because of who they are but whose they are.
17. Don’t stay laying on the floor for too long.— Life sucks sometimes. Sometimes you have to cry. Sometimes you don’t feel strong enough to stand. Sometimes the pain is too much. And sometimes you have to lay on the floor. But don’t stay on the floor for too long. Pick yourself up, wipe your tears, and begin to learn to smile again. Remember there is purpose in every pain. Stand up again because you don’t have to rely on just your strength, you have the Creator holding you up.
18. Trust is essential.— Trust is a very important brick in the foundation of relationships. You must do everything you can to preserve that.
19. It is okay to make mistakes.— In many of these lessons, not being able to change the past has become a theme. Not only this, but it is okay to make mistakes and not always be right. If mistakes are never made, growth never takes root. I am a perfectionist by nature, but I have learned I cannot let it consume me or it will steal my happiness. So it is okay to not be perfect and to mess up.

If you kept reading this long, thank you for sticking around to read through nineteen of many lessons I have learned thus far. I am excited to see what the next twenty years will bring.

With love and grace,

Olivia Mars